you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
