the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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