I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize