It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
