Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
