I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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