Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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