After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
