I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
