I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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