is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
