I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize