Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
