Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize