Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just threw up on my dentist
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
