How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
