yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
