I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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