He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
