Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
