She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
