It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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