so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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