No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize