i think my mom watched the whole time
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
