Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
