I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dick very happy bro
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
