I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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