We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
