Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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