He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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