She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
