I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
