I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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