He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
