I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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