I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
