that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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