One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she peed on how many people?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
