you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Houston, we have a blender
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
