why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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