I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
