Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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