I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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