eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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