i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
