woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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