Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
