If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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