i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
