how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
