He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
how does that bad decision feel?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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