how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
