Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
