Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
tell me about the fingering
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