Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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