i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
