Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
