She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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