He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
